Day one in my honest blog series. This was a roughish kind of day. I was tired from the get go. Noah was a bit overstimulated this morning and it did not end once he reached school. He enjoys going to school, but it does not seem to be bringing out the very best in him. I'm still trying to figure out what to do about this.
I did not manage to clean the house or get any laundry done because we were outside playing, attempting to use our energy in a positive way. Fresh air makes me happy, and it keeps me from becoming too stressed on a difficult day. Most importantly it keeps me from taking out my stress on my kids.
Our house is messy tonight. There's play dough on the floor and food from breakfast still under the table. I don't like feeling like I have to clean, I would rather be doing other things with my time. I'll clean, because a messy environment makes me feel anxious, but I won't be excited about doing it. We did not eat cereal for dinner, but we do sometimes. My kids love it, it's healthy.
I am not a perfect Mom by any means. Sometimes I wish I could wear a t-shirt stating this so people won't be disappointed when they learn the truth. Remember, I'm the Mom who took her kids on the long walk only to find out once we returned home that one of them was completely naked?? But I love, love, love my children, like my breath, and I think that should count for more than a super clean house or suspiciously well dressed kids who don't mind wearing shoes. Or the impression that I have everything figured out. Because I don't. I'm just doing the best I can. Desperately trying to do well by them. And loving it still.