09 July, 2009

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle

:: Are You Your Child's Friend? ::

"You are the *parent*, not your child's friend!"
Herein lies another tragic loss wrought by the
either/or mentality of conventional parenting advice.

Why not be a parent AND a friend? After all, a friend
is anyone you KNOW, LIKE, and TRUST -- all worthy
qualities of a parent-child relationship.

Certainly, we want to be knowable and trustworthy to
our children. Being *likable* is good, too, but it's
often confused with *niceness*. When friends sacrifice
authenticity in order to be "nice," healthy boundaries
go out the window. That's the kind of "friendship" you
don't want with your children -- or anyone!

A true blue friend is one who puts trusting and
knowing above liking, so s/he's willing to be totally
authentic with you about his or her boundaries and
limits. And don't you *like* knowing that your friend
*is* who s/he appears to be?

Children who haven't learned our culture's sanctioned
INauthenticity can teach us a lot about being a
friend. They hide nothing (knowable) and always speak
their truth (trustable).

Whether they can be so transparent *and* likable is
up to you: Do you like realness more than superficial

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