"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness..."

Thinking about this for 2012. Happy New Year!

Candy canes with Grandma, treats from Santa, surgery on R2D2, and Art. All day long for some of us. All. Day. Long. Missing GG, love to everyone. Hope you had a Merry Christmas.

Happy birthday to my favorite 5 year old!!

Things to remember

Sanks
Cranberry goons
Wowa, Yey-Yey, Yum-Yum
Swishy

Another belt graduation this weekend! Noah proudly received his orange belt. He also received a star patch for demonstarting sel-control at home and a certificate for completing 30 hours of reading over the past months.

Way to go, Noah!

http://www.dadcentric.com/2011/12/gene-marks-the-if-i-were-a-poor-black-kid-guy-to-write-advice-book-for-dads.html

And of course the lawn Santa picture!! (Because I know you're reading Uncle Shep, even though you never leave a note.) Everyone loves the Santa, a big thank you from the boys! Willian says "Santa is HUGE!". I think he thinks this Santa is going to bring him presents for Christmas.

Ready for school.

Gonna be posting a string of pictures for a bit. Give friends and family far away a chance to see the boys. The one below is one of my recent favorites.

Mommy... (more like Mommeee)

Daddy say I have too much,

and I waaant much.

New Year's Resolution

I'm starting early. It has become abundantly clear to me this year that it is essential for our family to have a support network that accepts us for who we are. I have a life long issue with trying to please people that is just plain sad. I almost fall off a text book page and the story is so boring and I'm tired of it. I'm going to try extra hard to be true to myself and to encourage the same from my kids. Maybe it's the 40th birthday thing that will arrive next August, I don't know. But I feel like I'm ready for a new path. If you love us as we are, warts and all, then you are welcome in our lives. We could really use some good, true friends. If not, farewell.

William woke me the other night by talking in his sleep. I listened to him laugh, then say

"GG silly".

I like to think of her visiting in his dreams, and of that helping nurture memories I fear will fade too quickly.

They used to play games and tickle and laugh together, and he always said "GG silly".

I'm posting this picture because these rolls were a HUGE hit at our house today, and we still have the other half of the dough in the fridge for another day! The blog that posted this recipe has a lot of recipes, some of which we have tried and really enjoyed. Not GFCF, but whole foods types of things for people who want to cook good, real food for their famalies but do not have all day every day to do it. Enjoy!

www.heavenlyhomemakers.com

Interesting read about gender stereotyping.

http://www.fosters.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20111127/GJNEWS_01/711279941

Noah turned 7 the other day. That's all I really have to say.

Boy, you sure have your Hands Full

I hear this often, and it used to bother me. Offend me. A lot. Now I usually just smile and say, Yes, sure do, full of blessings! ( Think forced smile here.) Today was a day where I wanted to say back, "Yes, I DO! So how 'bout you stop staring at us and do something helpful, like smile! Or offer to babysit!" (Kidding, of course. I don't usually let strangers babysit my kids. :) Usually.)

Maybe if people were more supportive of larger families, or families in general, and boys, and stopped treating us and children like there is something wrong with us/them we wouldn't seem like our hands are SO full, negative. We would seem like our hands are so full, positive.

Enough rant for tonight. Oh wait, one more thing, we've really got our priorities out of whack. Since when did it become so comfortable for us as a society to feed off other people's challenge? To allow it to make us feel better about ourselves? I think it started with the Jerry Springer show. Okay, I digress. And I'm done.

http://vimeo.com/14190306

Noah is loving this these days. Hi, my name is Mar-shell...

This is one of the most touching things I have read in a very long time.

Lord, I pray today that you will help me remember to forgive and love myself just as you and my precious children do every day.

http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com/2011/11/sometimes-i-cry.html

William, still so sick tonight with this awful cold/cough, as we're climbing into bed---

"I nee to get some sweep."

Lovin' this boy

I remember after finding out we were expecting our second child I worried about how I could ever love another child as much as I loved Noah. And of course it's true, what they say about love just growing. Same story with this little guy. Our third boy. Love as if he were our first, then second. And some days, with all my boys, it nearly blows me over. William is so mushy and meaty and totally cute these days I am certain that if it were considered at all appropriate I would take a bite out of him. Like when he decides he wants to wear my hat, or eats a pear, or asks if I can help him get some ice cream "Wike a team, Mom. We do it wike a team." Lord have mercy.

Halloween 2011

This year we had a Vampire Ninja, Captain America, and a Dinosaur for Halloween. William wore the costume that Noah wore yesterday, I mean a few years ago. Ka-raaay-zee.

Snow Day Snuggle

Oyster River in The New York Times

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/31/education/no-child-left-behind-catches-up-with-new-hampshire-school.html?hpw

Worth reading

This really spoke to me.

http://devotions.proverbs31.org/2011/10/you-dont-like-me.html

I remember her laughing, smiling, scolding,
cigarette in hand,
Iced coffee in the tall glass on the counter. With cream.
Cube steaks and rice for Casey, ice cream with Magic Shell in those dishes.
Joy, tears, anger, forgiveness.
Answering the phone when I needed a friend, long letters, too many to count over the years.
The rings on fingers,
Loving them so, never truly understanding the loss that would accompany them becoming always mine.
The absence of father left room and need, and, all those years later,
we came together again.
Summer vacations, teaching me to drive.
Long nails gently scratching my arms and back. Zinc Pink. Calm in my storm.
I swear I could smell that Babe powder when I opened the closet today, one last time.
Her 3 S's.
Mother.
Understanding that now.
Loving, forgiving, accepting.
Oh, and the Scott's Casserole. Always the Scott's Casserole.

Psalm 23
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want...

Pearl Jam

Noah just came downstairs while I had the PBS Pearl Jam documentary on. He immediately walked toward the TV, dropped his jaw, and bent half way over the lean on the couch.

"Who is this?" he asked. It was actually more like "Whooo iiis thiiis??"

This from the boy who at 2 told people his favorite singer was Bob Dylan. We went on and talked about it.

The list of things that I love about this child is endless, but his reaction to music, his connection to it, makes me feel like we share a secret. Music speaks to him, it hits him, hard. Me too. He is so much like his Dad in so many ways, but I get this one, and I love it.

Sunday School Poetry

Swimming, fishing, folding
Blue as the blue angels
Origami paper planes
Fishing
Brother, Son, Big Brother

Child of God

I went to call Gram last night to tell her that William was walking around the house carrying a picture of Casey. I wonder for how long these things happen?

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life."

Steve Jobs

Some days are hard. I know this comes as a surprise to no one. Friends, family, people you love, they suffer. We, ourselves, suffer. If we are very lucky we each have a few people we can count on, without fail. Unconditionally. I have a bit of those people, they have mostly been the same for nearly half a life time. More. Can you believe it's been that long? I am so very thankful for them.

My heart and prayers are going out to some very special people and their families as they courageously face very difficult days.

God offers me the sweetest reminders of how precious life is everyday in the ways of my children. I am so grateful for moments like these, so pure and sweet. Digging in the dirt. With hat. And mittens. In warm September. Time goes on, all things will pass. Sometimes way too quickly.

"When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anyone that left." Jakes

Reading another new book these days. This especially resonated with me--

"Children brought up in homes where they are free to be different, vulnerable, candid, and to make mistakes learn firsthand what the genuine love of God looks like."

from Grace Based Parenting

"Always remember there was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name."

The Avett Brothers

William, snuggling with me on the couch-- "I love you like a daughter, Mom. I love you like a daughter."

I have no idea what that means, but it was pretty sweet.

These are pictures from Noah's belt graduation ceremony this morning. He has been taking karate since the beginning of the summer and loves it. He is now the proud wearer of the gold (not yellow) belt!